*Rummaging around on desk for notes*

Ok… E3 Top 5 Loves and Hate notes, where are you? You have to be here somewhere… I know I’m late but I can’t possibly be that late.

*Dr Pepper can’s fall over, three wrong journals scoot out of the way to reveal dry erase board with E3 notes and piece of paper with random paragraphs*

AHA! Finally found them, now just to get started and…. and…

It’s been 2 damn weeks….

Well I was initially just taking a break, letting those few people who read my stuff from constant posts, even though the more constant a person is, the more people end up following people and their work. I let time slip away from me, I also started to go through some of the most stressful work situation I’ve been stuck in, you know people getting fired, losing hours, and being constantly worried for your job? The fun stuff.

So I’ve been going through a lot of distracting stuff, more stressful really, and with all that going on I’ve done the only normal thing someone like me does.

Play games to distract myself, anything to avoid the situation I am in. With personal in the title, I feel I can share this, I have generalized anxiety and depression. I don’t normally cope, and the dreams and the ideas I have usually get shrouded by distractors, like video games, random tv, or online videos. So my ambition to cover E3, give my opinions and maybe get a few chuckles was thrown away while I threw myself into Fallout 4 and the last bit of the DLC. That’s right, within 2 weeks I burned through and platinumed Fallout 4, and got every DLC trophy minus the 100,000 tickets for Nuka World… Not going to spend my next 3 nights just spamming Arcade games. I have my limits.

But that’s the thing, I’m starting to come out the other side of the funk, so the idea of using my limited time on a ticket hunt just doesn’t sit well with me.

Though, I felt a sense of pride while I plowed through the last two DLC, Far Harbor and Nuka World. It was nice to enjoy something I loved so much to such a degree, I guess filling the hole that I have in my heart while waiting for Fallout 76, but also left me filling just a little sad.

It’s that usual feeling of “What do I do now?” after beating a game or binge watching a show to completion. I guess that’s why I felt the need to finally craft something, even though I had no idea what I should talk about. I thought about still doing a E3 favorites, I mean honestly two weeks still isn’t that long of a gap between the show and now but it didn’t set right with me.

I thought about doing something Fallout 76 centric, but decided I didn’t have the drive to deep dive into info that others probably already have.

I came across the idea of just being honest, explain the absence, and maybe share a bit about myself. I went with it, just decided, since it was an up day and I had good news most of the day, I felt the closest thing to elation that I’ve had in a while.

I’m sorry if this bothers people, or if it sheds an unhappy light on someone you knew but I felt I needed to explain myself and give some insight into why I’ve done what I did. I don’t like skipping time in between I write, I don’t like not attempting new things just because I feel too down to do anything but just live. I hope for the strength to achieve and do more in my life, and I hope you guys will help me and support me.

If you guys have any suggestions on content, you can leave a comment below or follow me on Facebook or Twitter and give me some ideas/feedback.

-Reedicus Rex


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